Ghosts of the Past

Tonight, I humored myself with a delightful movie starring Matthew McConaughey and Jennifer Garner: the Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. Though the movie itself was utterly predictable and the moments too perfect to be true, I couldn't help but realize that so many situations in my life could turn out the same way.

The entire lesson of the movie can be summed up in a couple words: What goes around comes around. Naturally, McConaughey plays a young, successful man dubbed Connor Mead who lives life to the lees; well at least in a sexual context. Let's just say that he is the epitome of what most of us, girls, call a player. With absolutely no sense of commitment and what I call, marital-phobia, he picks up and throws aside girls like a stack of worn-out cards. The night before his "kid brother's" wedding, Connor nearly ruins the greatest moment of both his life and his brother's. Quite pathetically, he seems arrogantly oblivious of the disaster he wreaks; that is, until the ghosts of his past girlfriends visit and completely change him.

Seeing the numerous girls of his past parade before his eyes, Connor begins to realize that all of it resulted from a feeling of desperation and a fear of feeling heartbroken. When left on the floor alone, choked up over his failure to ask his childhood friend-turned-love to dance, Connor sees her, Jenny Perotti, kiss another guy and never did he forget that moment. Years later, Connor has found a way to never feel that emptiness again, simply by shutting out his emotions and refusing to feel attached to any girl who comes into his life.

And to me, I don't know which is the saddest part: to lose touch with your feelings or to live perpetually alone with nobody to truly share your life with. Being heartbroken is perhaps the worst thing you could ever wish upon anyone. To let someone in, to allow someone to know your most intimate thoughts and emotions, only to see him step out of your life and leave you staring after where he used to be - that is the worst pain for any girl. Yet at the same time, harboring an inability to attach to an important person in your life is just as excruciating. The end of the movie ties up the package with a beautiful red bow: Connor's younger brother marries the love of his life, and Connor finally opens up, letting himself fall in love with Jenny all over again.

That's why I always believe that despite all the challenges and heartache, one day, I'll meet the perfect guy, too.